Unfortunately, one of the tricky things about quitting drinking is that even when people want to help you, they aren’t always sure how. Boozemusings is a lifestyle blog and the BOOM Community is a peer support group. We are NOT trained addiction counselors but simply a community of people who have overcome or are overcoming alcohol issues. We do not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment, nor does anything on this website create a physician/patient relationship. If you require medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment, please consult your physician. Have you ever noticed that stories of alcoholism in mainstream media often point the finger at the friends and family of the drinker and accuse them of enabling or co-dependence?
They might also have financial or legal difficulties that feel overwhelming and add to the feeling of being alone. As awkward as it may be to have this conversation, leaving this conversation unsaid can potentially put the individual’s health and safety at risk, or lead to a worrisome and unenjoyable night for you. Developing a structured routine can help you stick to your sobriety goals, make healthy decisions, and reduce the likelihood of triggers and relapse. Create a structured daily routine, but plan for days you may experience sickness or chronic illness flare-ups that could require adjusting your routine.
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I think that enabling and co-dependence come from misinformation about what it means to need to stay sober and why that choice should be respected and even celebrated. It comes from misinformation in a culture that doesn’t look at the spectrum of alcohol abuse but rather, points to the rock bottom alcoholic as the one who has to stop while the rest of us are not that bad. Among recovering individuals themselves, in order to reduce risks, some choose only to attend sober parties or events. In some instances, family and friends may choose to hold their parties without alcohol, or at least downplay the central role that drinking might take.
- It may help to pick a quit date, or a day when you choose to discontinue use of alcohol or drugs.
- Look for local groups or online communities that promote sober social activities or host alcohol-free events.
- Here’s what research reveals about our networks’ gravitational force.
- You don’t have to provide more details if you don’t want to do so.
Let your people know that you’ll need to leave if you start to feel too tempted or if it gets past (whatever time) in the evening. As difficult as it is, you can’t keep people around you who don’t support your sobriety. People who are supportive and healthy for you to being sober around drinkers be around will apologize. Dr. Lenton also suggests that by announcing that we’re quitting drinking, we subconsciously signal to the group that there is something wrong with THEIR drinking. By being open like this, you alleviate many potentially high-risk experiences.
Quit alcohol, look as young as this legendary football coach at 72
Let’s say the aforementioned heart-to-heart with your buddies didn’t go as planned. You’re getting met with eye rolls, calls to lighten up, and advice that you should learn to take a joke. And then they’re going to make a conscious effort not to be bad friends.
- If it looks like your friends might be venturing into the land of the drunk and ridiculous, that’s your cue to head home.
- One study found that mutual support groups can be as effective as 12-step programs and may help improve the odds of success for people who are committed to maintaining a lifetime of total abstinence.
- But our attitudes about smoking are very different than they were 50 years ago.
- However, if the common bond with these friends was alcohol, you may want to take a closer look at the benefits of maintaining those relationships.
You will lose some friends when you stop drinking, that is the bad news. Most of your drinking buddies don’t give a flying fuck about you. If you honestly believe all the people you hang out with to drink alcohol with on a regular basis are your friends, I have bad news for you.
How To Stay Sober while Drinking
But once my son was in bed I would pour myself a drink to relax – one turned to two and I found it hard to stop – I could easily drink half a litre of vodka a night. I couldn’t quite understand how, on that night in October 2005, I’d gone into hospital carrying two babies, but only came home with one. You see, I should have given birth to twins, and though my son had been born weighing a healthy 5lbs12oz, there had been a problem with my daughter and she had died during delivery. Sadly the path out of alcohol addiction isn’t a path at all, it is a tightrope. Stop worrying about losing friends; it’s a thinly veiled threat of the Clown and nothing more. Drinking friends create a highly believable sense of safety in numbers.
Common setbacks to getting and staying sober include withdrawal, craving, and pressure to use substances. Relapse rates for substance use addictions are around 40% to 60%. Setbacks don’t erase progress; they don’t mean you’ve “failed” to stay sober. True friends are a solid support system who help us get through any situation, bad or worse. Prioritizing your well-being over socializing is way better than giving up on your achievement of staying sober. Being open and honest about your decision to stay sober with your friends is essential.